• Cast: Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Vivek Oberoi, Om Puri and Kiron Kher
• Director: Rensil D’Silva
• Producer: Karan Johar

Bollywood casts a proprietary eye on Hollywood in “Kambakkht Ishq,” a comedy set in Los Angeles starring two of India’s hottest stars, Akshay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor. Viraj (Mr. Kumar) is a stuntman; Sim (Ms. Kapoor) a model/surgeon. When they meet, it’s aversion at first sight.Slick and fast and set to a thumping techno soundtrack by Anu Malik, “Kambakkht Ishq” (“Damn Love”) is Bollywood, 21st-century style: kissing; women (American women, that is) stripping down to their skivvies; swearing (in English, at least); and South Asians everywhere (but India nowhere in sight).

Been there, seen that, moved on… That's one phrase we keep using to express various things in life. We use it for cinema too. As viewers, we've moved on to far more interesting subjects. Films that we can relate to and indentify with. Films that marry realism and make-believe beautifully. Films that not only entertain, but enlighten too.

Watching a film like TEAM THE FORCE in today's jet-age is a complete put off. Vintage cars and vintage furniture are still in demand, but vintage subjects aren't. Films like TEAM THE FORCE were the order of the day, a decade or more than a decade ago. But times have changed.

TEAM THE FORCE tells the story of three friends [Sohail Khan, Yash Tonk and Vrajesh Hirjee], who want to make it big in the music industry. They live with a doting person [Kulbhushan Kharbanda] and his family at their bungalow as paying guests. This gentleman considers them as his own sons, even finances them and prods them to launch their own video album.

This gentleman gets an extortion call from an underworld don [Sayaji Shinde]; he wants to usurp the bungalow. How the three youngsters take him to task and settle the issue forms the remainder of the film.

If the story is outright predictable, the direction is simply directionless. The director and the writer actually need a reality check. Music is of fast-forward quality.

Sohail, Yash and Vrajesh ham to the hilt. Amrita Arora makes an entry only when skin show is required. Sayaji Shinde is loud, but the interaction with his wife at several points of the film is truly funny. Kulbhushan Kharbanda looks disinterested.

Kamal Haasan in 10 different roles. 10 different roles mean 10 different stories. 10 different stories mean more than 3 hours of filmed entertainment. Does it sound exciting? Take a guess!

When you buy a ticket of DASHAVTAR [dubbed Hindi version], you also wish you would've taken the writer of this film along, who knows the film inside out, because it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very [10 times!] difficult to decipher what's going on, what this marrrrrrrrrrathon film actually wants to convey.

Perhaps, the writer's sole intention was to project Kamal Haasan in 10 different roles and prove how versatile an actor he is. Whether the screenplay would make sense or not is not important, actually.

To cut a really lonnnnnnnnnnng story short, DASHAVTAR is an unbearable experience. Watch 10 different classics of this great actor instead of this 10-in-1 film.

DASHAVTAR begins in the ancient times and shifts to 2004. A computer chip containing a dangerous biological material goes missing from a lab in America. A scientist, Govind, well aware of the dangers, launches a hunt for the missing material, which takes him to India.

DASHAVTAR is more of an exercise to prove that Kamal Haasan can carry off 10 different roles. But in an effort to do so, the writing takes a complete backseat. There are so many loopholes in the screenplay, it's unbelievable. Either the writer doesn't know what screen writing is all about or he has decided to take the viewer for granted.

The only time you want to compliment the writer is, when he comes up with a cure for cancer. A bullet in your chest can throw the tumour out of your body. Bravo!

Himesh Reshammiya's music is of fast-forward quality. Barring the 'Mukunda' track, the remaining songs are hard on your ear drums. The action scenes are very gimmicky.

Of the 10 roles, Kamal Haasan appeals only as the ex CIA agent. However, the makeup looks fake for a few characters. Asin is terrible. She irritates after a point. Mallika Sherawat suits her role. She's good. Jaya Pradha is wasted. What did she see in this role?

The very thought of going to the cinemas gives you a high. The past five Fridays have been very unsettling, witnessing a few inconsequential releases, with the viewer looking everywhere but at the theatres. The practice of going back to a dark auditorium, the aroma of popcorn and samosas, comes to an end with 99, which opens at plexes and single screens, both.

99, helmed by Raj Nidimoru [Raj] and Krishna D.K. [D.K.], is a good looking film with some smart moments thrown in, towards the second hour mainly. In fact, it takes time to grasp things, the characters, the plotline. Besides, Raj and D.K. take their own sweet time to establish the characters, set things up and come to the point.

99 actually takes off in the second hour. From the time the lights are dimmed [post interval] to the time the lights are lit again [conclusion of the film], 99 keeps you engrossed in most parts.

99 is set in 1999. It's about two crooks [Kunal Khemu, Cyrus Broacha], who run the illegal SIM card duplicating business and who get embroiled in a major mess when they rob a car and worse, meet with an accident. The car belongs to a bookie/gangster [Mahesh Manjrekar], who asks them to reimburse the amount.

What follows is a big chase, from the streets of Mumbai to Delhi, with a number of characters now entering the story.

99 isn't Raj and D.K.'s debut film, but it's their debut film in Bollywood for sure. The best part is, the director duo come up with fresh ideas to make it look different. For instance, the characters that you watch in 99 have been witnessed a zillion times before, but the small-time crooks [Kunal, Cyrus], bookie/gangster [Mahesh Manjrekar], match fixer [Vinod Khanna], habitual gambler [Boman], his cheerless wife [Simone Singh], slimy bookie/recovery agent [Amit Mistry], an over-the-top Bhojpuri film actor and the hotel manager [Soha] appear so different. They're definitely not caricatures. Even otherwise, the approach to the story [Raj, D.K., Sita Menon] and the execution of the subject is a notch above the ordinary.

Notwithstanding the plusses, Raj and D.K. ought to know, being avid movie buffs themselves, making the viewer impatient isn't a positive sign. The film is sooooo slow [intermittently boring too] at times that it tests your patience. The film vacillates constantly, from energetic moments to tepid/boring stuff. Also, ideally, the film should've had a running time of 90 minutes [99 minutes, if the makers preferred], not 2 + hours.

There's not much scope for music in the film and the song-pieces are well integrated in the plot. Rajeev Ravi's cinematography is eye-catching. Dialogues are well penned. Special mention must be made of the beginning titles, which are innovative. Cheragh Todiwala's editing is perfect in several scenes [sample these sequences: Kunal enters Vinod Khanna's suite in the hotel or the chase at Palika Bazaar towards the climax - well filmed, well edited sequences], but loose at times too.

99 is embellished with fine performances from an ensemble cast, but the one who stands out is Boman Irani. Here's a master stroke from this accomplished actor, yet again. Kunal Khemu is only getting better and more confident. The new look [hairstyle] suits him well. Soha is evolving into a fine actress. She's highly competent this time. Cyrus Broacha is, expectedly, funny and controlled. Film-makers have one more alternative while casting now.

Vinod Khanna is wonderfully relaxed, so is Mahesh Manjrekar. Simone Singh does well. Amit Mistry is exceptional. Here's a talent that needs to be lapped up!

On the whole, 99 appeals in parts, more towards the second half. The film holds appeal for the youth and should find patronage from this faction of moviegoers at multiplexes mainly.

Nagesh Kukunoor enters a new zone with 8 x 10 TASVEER: Suspense-thriller. His choice of the genre and subject material is also right. Yet, 8 x 10 TASVEER goes wrong, horribly wrong.

Now what was that? This is one question that haunts you at the end of the show. And, seriously, you want to direct this question to Kukunoor, who is also credited as the writer of this film.

Okay, let's dissect... The concept is interesting. The atmosphere is perfect. The mystery deepens with each passing minute. Just when you thought that Kukunoor had pulled it off, a twist in the tale pulls the carpet off your feet. The film crumbles and the impression generated by some brilliantly executed sequences evaporate into thin air.

The discrepancies in the script. Of course, 8 x 10 TASVEER is a whodunit and it would be sacrilege to reveal the end or the identity of the killer, but the reasons that compel the murderer to commit crime after crime are unbelievable and far from convincing.

The moment the truth is out in the open, from that point onwards, the writer doesn't have convincing answers to offer. There are so many gaps that remain wide open till the end.

Nagesh Kukunoor goes two steps ahead as a technician, but five steps behind as a storyteller. The film has been shot stylishly and the breath-taking locales of Canada and South Africa only give the film a picture perfect look. But the screenplay is faulty. So faulty that you exit the auditorium with questions and more questions in your mind. The outcome fails to convince.

Vikas Sivaraman's cinematography is top notch. The locales are splendid and the DoP has captured them with élan. There's no scope for music in the film and the three songs [opening titles, romantic song and end credits] are passable. The background score [Salim-Sulaiman] is electrifying.

Akshay pitches in a sincere performance. 8 x 10 TASVEER is a complete departure from the kind of films the actor is popular for and it only goes to prove that he's ready to experiment. Ayesha is natural. Sharmila Tagore is graceful. Jaaved Jaaferi is first-rate. Girish Karnad, Benjamin Gilani, Ananth Mahadevan and Rushaad Rana are perfect in their respective roles.

On the whole, 8 x 10 TASVEER disappoints. The film goes wrong, in fact horribly wrong, in the penultimate 20-25 minutes, which is the lifeline of any suspense-thriller. Nagesh Kukunoor has missed the bus this time!

Some people are completely clueless about screen writing. There has to be a start, a middle and an end in every film. MERI PADOSAN has a start, but the middle and the end are so amateurish that you wonder how films like this are envisioned in the first place.

The concept - a reality show - has taken Indian television by storm. Director Prakash Saini and writer Taarun Takshaay could've come up with a hilarious fare, but what comes across is so boring and tedious that you actually want to make a hasty exit from the auditorium.

Shyam gets to know that Live India channel has invited film-makers to make a short film. Now Shyam starts thinking of the concept he should submit to emerge a winner. He watches Kavita waiting for Viju and decides to film their romance discreetly.

Forget laughing, one doesn't even smile in most parts of this film. The jokes are non-appealing and at times, crass. The culmination to the tale is equally confusing. Music is dull.

Barring Sanjay Mishra and to an extent Sarwar Ahuja, the performances are lackluster. Snehal Dabhi is getting typecast. Khyali is a bad actor. Saadhika Randhawa doesn't work. Heena Tasleem has nothing to do. Mushtaq Khan is okay.

Note this: You need to turn into a kiddie while watching a kiddie film. So follow this mantra when you set out to watch a naani solve a mystery, a la Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie, in DETECTIVE NAANI, directed by first-timer Romilla Mukherjee.

DETECTIVE NAANI is tedious and interesting, both. Tedious, because what could've been narrated in 1.30 hours is narrated in 2.15 hours. More on that later!

Final words? Strictly for kids!

It's a regular day at Gulmohar Complex. Spunky, independent, 75-year-old Naani [Ava Mukherjee] is on her way back home from her daily morning walk. Suddenly, her eye catches the face of a little girl peeping nervously from a 3rd floor window. The flat belongs to a childless couple.

The girl hides away quickly. Naani's intrigue about the little girl leads her to a possible murder. Naani finds herself in the middle of a mystery where some people will come to her aid, some will be indifferent and some will prove to be dangerous. When the CID officer [Ankur Nayyar] dismisses Naani's story due to lack of hard evidence, she transforms into a detective.

Naani uses her home-spun common sense and logic and carries out her investigation in classic whodunit style.

Come to think of it, the concept of DETECTIVE NAANI is indeed different. You've a septuagenarian trying to solve a case in her own, simple, uncomplicated way. But the problem is not the naani, but the sundry characters that are inter-connected to the main plot.

Ideally, Romilla should've concentrated on the naani solely, instead of the romantic track [a big yawn], who break into silly songs that would make even those suffering from insomnia doze off. Also, the kids - the grand-kids of the naani - hardly make the proceedings lively. These portions should've been eliminated on the script level itself. It would've saved money and raw stock, besides keeping the running time in check.

Also, from the writing point of view, the villain and his wife do nothing beyond giving cold stares to the naani, even though they know that she's after their case.

Having said that, it's true that DETECTIVE NAANI holds your attention towards the latter reels. The penultimate moments are watchable and you don't really grumble as the film reaches its finale.

Romilla Mukherjee's direction is better than her writing. Musically, nothing to hum about. Ideally, it should've been a songless film.

Ava Mukherjee, the naani, lends credibility to her character. She makes the most implausible situation look plausible. Ankur Nayyar, the cop, is an extremely competent actor. A small-screen talent that needs to be picked up by big-screen producers. The remaining actors either pass muster or fail to register an impact.

On the whole, DETECTIVE NAANI is too ordinary a fare to stand on its feet. At best, it might appeal to a small section of moviegoers [kids]. That's about it!

Kab Talak
Kabhi Kabhi
Mere Khwabon Mein Jo Aaye - Instrumental
Pahle Toh Meri Inn Ankhon
Pathraon Ke Bane In Shahron
Sehmi Sehmi
Sehmi Sehmi - Remix
Zindagi Me Nayi Bat Hone Ko